I am in the middle of an existential food crisis.
Well, maybe it isn’t that dire, but I need your help and honest opinions.
Lately I’ve been having thoughts regarding vegetarianism and denial. Having grown up in the South, I am a huge fan of barbecue, cookouts, fried chicken, and all that other good stuff. I grew up on the Chesapeake Bay and I love crabbing and shellfish. But, if you’ve been reading me for any time you’ll know that in February I wafted back into vegetarianism. I had been a vegetarian for several years and into my first year of college but then slowly started allowing meat back into my diet. Of course, I was doing it the wrong way and, combined with many emotional stressors and other issues in my life, I got very unhealthy. But I can’t help but think that there has to be a healthy way to have meat in your life.
I made an informed decision when becoming a vegetarian. I researched the issues and the choices. I struggled with the label, and I still do. I hate to pidgeon-hole myself into anything, and labeling myself as a “vegetarian” just isn’t working any more. I want to live a label-less life and find my own way to eat! I am able to cook for myself, find good restaurants, and adapt in meat-heavy situations. But once again, I can’t help but think that there has to be a healthy way to have meat in your life.
Which brings me to the issue of denial. One of my food philosophy principles that I hold myself to is “Never deny yourself a food you want.” I think denial is very unhealthy and this only creates more food issues. But aren’t I technically denying myself meat when, even as a vegetarian, I have cravings for my G’ma’s ham biscuits or one of my Aunt Josette’s hamburgers? I am still denying myself a food and having an unhealthy relationship with it.
While I still am convinced that a diet based primarily in vegetables and natural foods is the best for me, is there harm in eating meat occasionally? I have grown to love vegetarian alternatives like vegan sausage, Boca burgers, and tofu. And I know that I like how these foods make me feel so I will continue eating them. So I’m thinking that staying primarily vegetable-based while allowing myself some meat when I want it is okay.
Don't we all just want to enjoy life and love food?
When people ask me why I’m a vegetarian, I always say, “For my health, for the environment, and for the animals.” All of these are true and I still feel passionately about them. Choosing a primarily plant-based diet still helps my health, the environment, and the animals. After living in Austin for a month, I am convinced there’s a way to stay healthy and active and still incorporate meat on occasion. As for the environment, I think that any contribution matters. I drive a Prius, I try to recycle, and I use reusable shopping bags. By limiting my meat intake, instead of denying myself meat, I think I can still make a positive impact on the environment. And as for the animals, I think choosing to be meatless most days still makes a positive impact and it means I am making a contribution. I will do my best to find the most ethical, naturally raised meat I can and in doing that, I will support local farmers. I can guarantee I’m not going to go to McDonalds for a burger, but if the craving strikes I will do my best to find grass-fed beef from a local supplier I can feel good about. I’m not perfect and neither are my food choices, but my philosophy of “Do the best you can where you can” applies to this situation.
And at the end of the day, don’t I just want to feel good about my choices? I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but I’m afraid the vegetarian community will shun me. I still have all the sample principles as before, but I think that absolutely, flat-out denying myself something I truly like is doing more harm than good. I want to find a healthy way to enjoy the foods I crave, like barbecue, and still be healthy and enjoy a mostly plant-based diet. I want to shed the label of being a “vegetarian” or even a “flexitarian”. I want to find a way to be happy and healthy and not deny myself anything.
What I want out of life: a smile on my face like this with no regrets about anything.
I’m just so… torn. I feel like I’m making a good decision, but I am still unsure. I just want to have a healthy, happy life and if a happy life includes the occasional bbq spare rib, I might be okay with that.
Obviously I went to the other extreme: vegetarian to vegan so my perspective is a little different. Even though it’s definitely the least popular way of eating, the impact it has had on my physical health/energy level, emotional well being, belief system and karma has been tremendous.
That said, only YOU know what is best for YOUR body and as you said, even with the occasional eating of meat, you are still dramatically contributing to the reduction of the carbon footprint.
thanks for the support Bess! I know we’re looking at it from different sides, but I think you’re right that I am still contributing in my own way. love you girl!
I am so glad you knew this comment wasn’t written from atop a soap box!
Us Golden Girls must have mindreading abilities too
As a “flexitarian” who has been considering becoming a “vegetarian” lately (see my recent post) I can relate. This biggest reason why I keep avoiding becoming a vegetarian is the label. Once you say it, there is pressure to stick with it.
But that is the upside to flexitarianism. Though it is a label, it really isn’t. It means you can be flexible. You eat what you want and what makes you feel good about your health, the environment, and animal welfare, and yourself. And that is all that matters.
You shouldn’t have to deprive yourself. Occasionally, my meat eating boyfriend wants ham or bacon, and I’ll make it for him. I may even sneak a small bite, even though I “gave it up” six years ago. I don’t feel one bit guilty.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to define it, enjoy food and do what you think is best for your beliefs, and let that be that. Your health and positive relationship with food will follow.
I love your view on this. I feel so free now that I’m label-less. I’m following my feelings and my own philosophy and that is what matters. I love how you say “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself…” — I do that too much and you’re a good reminder not to! thanks!!!
I really hate labels too, and although I did go straight vegetarian last year, I eventually had a craving for meat. Rather than denying myself something that I wanted, I’ve decided to be flexible instead (thus a flexitarian as well).
I would say that I incorporate meat into my diet about 3 times per week–only if I want it. I do make smart meat choices though–I eat only free range, hormone free, organic meat. It’s definitely more expensive, but to me it’s worth it.
I like your approach! definitely the flexibility is important and now that I love vegetables and vegetarian food, I know I will still eat a lot of that. I agree that the more ethical stuff is worth the $ and I’ll do my best to stick to that!
You shouldn’t feel guilty for your choices either way–the mere act of thinking about your food choices means you’re doing your best to preserve your health, the environment, and your ethics!
If eating meat occasionally feels right, go for it; same if you want it every day, or if you just stop eating it. What’s important is finding a balance that’s right for you, and though labels can help guide us to try out alternatives, they don’t always define how we eat in practical terms, and they are loaded with all kinds of connotations.
If it makes you feel any better, I eat vegan 90% of the time, with the other 10% being very meaty indeed. It defies labels, but that’s what you get when you love vegetarian cuisine, the occasional porky-pork, and can’t eat dairy!.
first of all, I love you Laura. you always seem to say exactly the right thing and exactly what I need to hear. I appreciate your input on the situation, I love your approach to food and life in general. it IS all about balance
Not what I was expecting from this post, but I don’t have to tell you how I feel; it just makes you an omnivore, like most of us. You’re eating in line with your values and you don’t owe anyone any justification for that.
that is the most concise way to say what I’m trying to say. thank you for finding the words for me!
My thoughts: do what makes you comfortable, happy and content. It’s not about labels (for I fear that they cause more harm than good, often), it’s about doing what is right for YOU: your values, beliefs & health.
For some an animal-product free lifestyle is for them, for others it is not. Everyone is different, so please just listen to your inner self. You are a wise senior citizen, I have no doubt you will figure out what the right balance is for you.
love your response — thanks Dot!!!!! I try to be a wise senior citizen with your guidance
Meredith, You make a lot of sense. sounds that you want to become what I am… I generally avoid meat, especially red meats… but occasionally have some. I chose veggies over seafood, seafood over poultry and poultry over red meats…. yes I went without eating meat for 3 years but never called myself a vegetarian… so dropping the label and all that comes with it will be a wise decision! Greetings from VA and good luck in TX!
thanks for your comment, Michael! I like your approach to it. I’m tired of giving things up so I might as well just follow how I feel and remember to eat my veggies! say hello to old VA for me!
1. I absolutely agree with getting rid of labels that box you in (and out) of an identity and actions that are not going to make you healthy or comfortable.
2. I think allowing meat in your diet is important in your philosophy of removing denial and also your philosophy of balance that you wrote about recently.
3. I love and support your decision.
1. thank you. I feel less boxy already.
2. yes, no more denial, just a healthy relationship.
3. I LOVE YOU.
4. come back from Singapore.
I’m pretty much just backing up what others have said:
Do not guilt trip yourself for any decision that you make. As a person that lays too much of a guilt trip upon herself for EVERYTHING, know it’s not worth the negative things it does to your mental health.
I feel like labels just give people the chance to judge others. It lays down too many rules to live by.
Listen to your body. If you want a steak, get the steak. If you want a salad, get the salad. And you’ll probably do the latter more often than not, but know it’s perfectly okay to do the first also!
no more guilt trips, I’m owning it! and you’re right, it is perfectly okay to eat meat. I love you goldengirl!
I write pretty often that I really enjoy eating meat. It tastes good and is filling. I think we are meant to eat meat. Plant-based diets are healthy but I am happiest and feel best when I’ve even eaten some lean protein, like a chicken breast or bison burger. It sounds like you are probably a flexitarian at heart, and you should know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping your options open when it comes to your diet!
thanks for the support, Ashley! I think I am a “flexitarian” at heart (to use a label hahah). keeping the options open and doing what is best for me and my balance
Do whatever you want for YOURSELF. Don’t think of how others would judge you. I do eat meat. I eat whatever meat feels right at the time. I just kind of do it.
So do what you want, what your body craves.
love your perspective, Michelle. I worry way too much about the judgement of others and you’re right — I shouldn’t!
One thing I wanted to add to the discussion: I started eating healthier when I started eating meat again because I was able to eat less processed stuff. Going veg helped me eat more vegetables…BUT I was also eating what I now believe was too much soy and I was eating a LOT of processed stuff (Boca burgers, etc). I like eating meat because it allows me to eat REAL food…I don’t see a problem with plant proteins but I do think fake meat is just…fake.
I think you can be a healthy, humane, environmentally conscious flexitarian — ESPECIALLY in this great state of TX!
you’re so right… lately I’ve been relying on processed, pre-made vegetarian crap way too much. there is definitely a way to be a flexitarian, incorporate meat, and be healthy and conscious of the environment and animal ethics. and yes, ESPECIALLY in TX!
Rachel brings up a great point. I got bombarbed by others with an article that came out in the LA Times that focused on the “junk food” diet of 2 vegans.
And I had to explain that most vegans I know don’t subsist solely on fries, cookies and Fritos or on the other extreme, solely on nuts and twigs.
Eating food in its natural state and not overprocessed, chemical laden foods is the best way to treat your body
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I agree with everyone, you can definitely eat meat and still be healthy and environmentally conscious. I’m a meat eater but a lot of the time I don’t eat meat. I don’t make that decision because I want to be vegetarian, I do so because I LIKE it! In my eyes the healthiest way to eat is to eat what you like, what makes YOU feel good. No community should ever shun you for the food choices you make. And I totally agree with Rachel – we should all be focused on eating REAL food instead of the processed stuff, rather than on labels such as vegetarian/vegan/carnivore/etc.
thanks, Sophie! I’m definitely going to be taking a page out of your book, so to speak, because I know you maintain a great lifestyle, eat good food, and incorporate meat. I think you touched on the main point: I will eat what I want BECAUSE I like it and WHEN I want to. refocusing on real food as opposed to that fake vegetarian stuff so often is definitely going to be a welcome change!
Meredith,
I applaud you. You have it right. A mostly plant-based diet might be what’s best for you and the environment, but a diet that incorporates some locally produced/raised meat also is what’s good for you — and for your soul. You never should have to give up what you love, the foods you grew up eating, the meat dishes that make your heart sing. You also shouldn’t have to worry about what others think of you or your eating habits. It’s your life, not theirs, and you never should have to explain yourself or your choices.
Enjoy that spare rib, honey!
Kayla, thanks so much for commenting! I love the support you’re giving me and, while I don’t need anyone’s blessing, it sure is nice to get the support from the blogosphere! And you’re very right: I shouldn’t worry how others look at what I eat and I should live for ME.
No spare ribs yet, but I enjoyed some barbecue! Maybe this weekend?!
I’m of the opinion that food should bring people together, not ostracize others or provide a platform for telling people how to eat. I’m currently going through a tangential exploration on local eating at homegrownnibbles.blogspot.com (I have more than one blog…). What are the benefits and drawbacks to eating locally? What is better for me, my family, my community? Does that include meat or no? Etc…etc… You aren’t alone in trying to find what is best for YOU.
That being said: go with your gut. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with eating meat or animal products, especially when obtaining products from animals that lived a great life sunning itself in the pasture and were killed humanely.
Read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. It really helped clear up a lot of my own questions. Helped me start exploring what is right for you.
And anyone who makes you feel less for exploring this subject – be them vegan or carnivorous – are not worth your time.
Best wishes!
I love your philosophy and your support — thanks for sharing your thoughts! I will definitely have to check out that book and I will remember what you said: find the best for ME! thanks again!!!! your blog is awesome, too!